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Psychologists teach you how to solve the contradiction between the husband and wife

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Updated: Tuesday, Nov 13,2012, 3:21:58 PM
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A British psychologist says that dontcmwell.com

A British psychologist says that don't drag out of a lot of trivial matters in the past and don't attack your wife/ husband's family members, friends, colleagues, and the boss when quarrelling. Otherwise the battlefield will be enlarged unlimitedly so...

The First Secret: Talk about the fact as it stands and don't refer to any one innocent

 

When arguing, your brain is like a database outputing anyone related to the other side like her/his parents, friends, colleagues and neighbors. At that time, a simple dispute is expanded from herself/himself just because of the spread of your disorderly "cannon fire".

 

A British psychologist says that don't drag out of a lot of trivial matters in the past and don't attack your wife/ husband's family members, friends, colleagues, and the boss when quarrelling. Otherwise the battlefield will be enlarged unlimitedly so that the problems to be solved in original will be vanished like soap bubbles.

 

Psychologists suggest, ask yourself three questions for 30 seconds before the "war":

 

(1) What makes you so angry?

(2) Whether is it so bad that need quarreling to solve?

(3) Can the quarrel solve the problem?

 Psychologists teach you how to solve the contradiction between the husband and wife

In answer to these three questions, you will find some things don't be worth arguing.

 

The Second Secret: Retreating from accusing to communicating for the sake of advancing

 

Sugarcoated bullet, sometimes is more powerful than real guns and bullets, because men are often yielding to soft approaches but rejecting forces. Besides, the highest art for quarrelling is that neither pointing to his nose and doing like lioness's roar nor   deadly making a few regulations to him to be observed, bur resorting to use soft words to win hard heart.

 

Psychologists suggest that it's better to calmly convince her/him with reasons than to furiously accuse her/him. Thus you will become a victim but no longer a hysterical accusant, which lays a good foundation to a further communication each other.

Tags: Contradiction Husband-and-wife

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