What causes sexual dysfunction?
The stresses of everyday life can affect your ability to have sex. Being tired from a busy job or caring for young children may make you feel less desire to have sex. Or you may be bored by a long-standing sexual routine.
Many things can cause problems with your sex life. Medicines, diseases (like diabetes or high blood pressure), alcohol use or vaginal infections can cause sexual problems. Depression, an unhappy relationship or abuse (now or in the past) can also cause sexual problems.
You may have less sexual desire during pregnancy, right after childbirth or when you are breast-feeding. After menopause many women feel less sexual desire, have vaginal dryness or have pain during sex.
What is sexual dysfunction?
When you have problems with sex, doctors call it "sexual dysfunction." Men and women can have it. There are 4 kinds of sexual problems in women.
Orgasmic disorders - When you can't have an orgasm or you have pain during orgasm.
Sexual pain disorders - When you have pain during or after sex.
Desire disorders - When you are not interested in having sex or have less desire for sex than you used to.
Arousal disorders - When you don't feel a sexual response in your body or you cannot stay sexually aroused.
What can I do?
If desire is the problem, try changing your usual routine. Try having sex at different times of the day, or try a different sexual position.
Arousal disorders can often be helped if you use a vaginal cream for dryness. If you have gone through menopause, talk to your doctor about taking estrogen or using an estrogen cream.
If you have a problem having an orgasm, masturbation can help you. Extra stimulation (before you have sex with your partner) with a vibrator may be helpful. You might need rubbing or stimulation for up to an hour before having sex. Many women don't have an orgasm during intercourse. If you want an orgasm with intercourse, you or your partner may want to gently stroke your clitoris.
If you're having pain during sex, try different positions. When you are on top, you have more control over penetration and movement. Emptying your bladder before you have sex, using extra creams or taking a warm bath before sex all can help. If you still have pain during sex, talk to your doctor. If you have a tight vagina, you can try using something like a tampon to help you get used to relaxing your vagina. Your doctor can tell you more about this.
How do I know if I have a problem?
Up to 70% of couples have a problem with sex at some time. Most women sometimes have sex that doesn't feel good. This doesn't mean you have a sexual problem.
If you don't want to have sex or it never feels good, you might have a sexual problem. The best person to decide if you have a sexual problem is you! Discuss your concerns with your doctor. Remember that anything you tell your doctor is private.
Can medicine help?
If you have gone through menopause or have had your uterus and/or ovaries removed, taking the hormone estrogen may help with sexual problems. If you're not already taking estrogen, ask your doctor if this is an option for you.
You may have heard that taking sildenafil (Viagra) or the male hormone testosterone can help women with sexual problems. There have not been many studies on the effects of Viagra or testosterone on women, so doctors don't know whether these things can help or not. Both Viagra and testosterone can have serious side effects, so using them is probably not worth the risk.
What else can I do?
Learn more about your body and how it works. Ask your doctor about how medicines, illnesses, surgery, age, pregnancy or menopause can affect sex.
Practice "sensate focus" exercises where one partner gives a massage, while the other partner says what feels good and requests changes (example: "lighter," "faster," etc.). Fantasizing may increase your desire. Squeezing the muscles of your vagina tightly and then relaxing them may increase your arousal. Try sexual activity other than intercourse, such as massage, oral sex or masturbation.
What about my partner?
Talk with your partner about what you each like and dislike, or what you might want to try. Ask for your partner's help. Remember that your partner may not want to do some things you want to try. Or you may not want to try what your partner wants. You should respect each other's comforts and discomforts. This helps you and your partner have a good sexual relationship. If you can't talk to your partner, your doctor or a counselor may be able to help you.
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